Axel-deep in the spiritual swamps

...Heh, it's been nearly 2 years on this blog now, and I'm still griping about the same old stuff. Figures.

I'm still struggling with putting more trust in God. For certain, I do not doubt His existence. What I do doubt is His active participation in my life. He is God, to be sure, but I often doubt that he is a personal God. I want evidence before faith, while it seems like God wants my faith before He gives me any evidence. It's as if God has left me to struggle with my sins and shortcomings by myself.

I have thought a lot about my faith lately. It has been a very difficult thing for me to do - trusting more in God, I mean. Every fiber of my geeky self screams out that I must have evidence first. Not just evidence from a 2000-year old Bible, but evidence that I can see, and measure, and use to confirm that God is there and is helping me.

My hope is still in God, but I have few expectations that God will help me anymore. What am I missing?