Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Tin man Syndrome
Here's another way of looking at my troubles following after God. In my mind, I have mentally acknowledged God as my Savior. I have studied the evidence, thought it through, and have accepted that only God could have created the world, ourselves, and our morality. I wholeheartedly believe in the sinfulness of man and that Christ is the only way to once again have God accept us. Trouble is... all that knowledge has never reached my heart. I am thankful, but I do not love God. Following Christ is a necessary duty for me, not a labor of love. It is so extremely difficult for me to love something that I cannot see or talk to. So while I am set in my belief, I am still easily swayed by the flesh. Where do I find the impulse to love God as much as he loves and cares for me?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
That's a tough question. I don't want to give an answer that doesn't acknowledge the struggle. Part of belief in God, is, in a way, beleiving that you do love Him, only not you, but His Holy Spirit in you. God is three persons (though in one) and you can't just forget about the Spirit. Sometimes, I think the enemy plants doubts in our hearts about if we really do love Him...but we do - because it's not us, but Him in us loving Him.
is this all more confusing? i hope someone else comments - because i'm not the best expert on relating to God - somehow His grace is enough for me to keep at it and make it good.
Ya, that is a little confusing. I have no doubt that the Holy Spirit helps us to see more of what God has done, and is doing, for us. However, I have doubts on whether or not the Holy Spirit can make us love God. The people or things that we love are part and parcel with our own free will - loving God must be a conscious choice.
Putting it simply, the Holy Spirit can help show us how and why to love God, but the act of love can only come from us.
You remember the old term "acquire the fire?" That is what I am looking for. Not a quick, temporary emotional high, mind you - I know how quickly I can burn out on those. I'm talking of a devoted love, the kind of devotion that can take me through harsh temptation.
No matter how much I read about God, no matter how honest and logical God's truths are, I'm not satisfied with that. I want to wrestle with God! I don't just want to know God - I want that PERSONAL relationship that I feel that I'm still missing. It's as if I'm just another saved person - like God has his hands full elsewhere and has left me to figure Him out on my own.
So I read your post and the comments and I thought to myself, "yeah, I relate to that. I should leave a comment."
Unfortunately, I don't have any answers or amazing insights. All I can say is, yeah, I relate to that.
"...if I only had a heart."
Post a Comment