I should listen to this song more often...

"Complexity haunts me, for I am two men,
Entrenched in a battle that I'll never win.
My discipline fails me, My knowledge it fools me,
But You are my shelter, Oh, the Strength that I need!

It's my will, and I'm not moving,
Cause if it's Your Will, than nothing can shake me,
And it's my will to bow and praise You,
And I'll have the will to praise my God."

My Will - DC Talk

Slowly going crazy

Some days, things are just rough. This is one of those times. My younger brother and my mom are in the middle of an all-out war. This is a first for me and frankly, I hate it. I'm on the outside of this whole conflict though, which is good. With Dad away on yet another work trip, I'm the only family member nearby, so I've been lending my ear and shoulder to mom as she struggles with what to do. As distant as Nate seems, I'm still trying to lend him bits of advice; just letting him know that I still care. I expect that he may yet need me before all this is over.
When I'm not occupied with family drama, I've been struggling with my own faith issues, particularly with work and relationships. Work in the land surveying field has gotten really thin lately, and if things get too much worse I might be commuting into the DC suburbs (traffic...shudder) or out of a job completely. As a 26 year-old bachelor, I'm dealing with the twin problems of loneliness and boredom. It's really tough to trust God with all this guff that's been going on. I started a regular daily devotional again this past week - 1st time since just after college. I'm using a copy of "My Utmost for His Highest" that Derek Fugate gave me right before graduation.

Two new photo albums of my old favorites have been opened: Shenandoah Nat'l Park and this year's Cedar Creek Reenactment.


And in case you're interested in VeggieTales randomness:


Good night!

Old Rag Redux & DC

I forgot to post my latest pictures of Old Rag and Washington DC in my Fotki. I'll get that done yet tonight. In the meantime...

The Realization

Hold onto your hat, folks - this one's a doozy.

I think that I finally realized something very important tonight. I started a new study course in the church a few weeks ago. Since we last met last Thursday, I have been:

1) Studying the course folder,
2) Completing a separate daily online Bible course,
3) Reading through a book on Christian Theology (One of the course leaders suggested it to me 2 weeks ago,)
4) E-mailing one of the men in my group daily for prayer and discussion,
5) Talking with Mr. Newlin as an additional prayer partner,
6) Sunday morning Church,
7) Wednesday night Young Adult meeting,
and 8) The Thursday night meetings, of course.

The reason: Last Thursday, I held a hope that all of this would lead to a change in my heart. That if I truly began to live the life of a Christian, that my heart would eventually follow suit. The sad truth however: I have done all of this in the past week in my own power.

Wanting salvation and eternal life from Jesus Christ was the easy part. Wanting a changed life is much harder. All this week, underneath all the things I have been putting myself through, I still often desire some of my old ways. I know that I CAN be free from old troubles, but in my heart I admit, I do not always WANT it.

This is my explanation. Just as I cannot earn salvation by my deeds, I understand now that I also cannot earn holiness by my deeds. Just as I need Christ to provide me salvation by His power alone, so I prayed tonight for Him to change my heart by His power alone. I do not know how God is going to bring this about, and frankly, it scares me terribly. But I know that it has to be Him, and not I. If God can use this to bring about change in me, so much the better. And Lord, I hope that it is soon.

Longtime

Sorry for the long wait without posting! I've had a ton going on in the past few weeks - and a lot to think about. Just wanted everyone to know I'm not dead yet, and if I can get my act together, I'll put together something this weekend.

Busch Gardens trip & more

Hoo... long time no talkie. New pictures are up - my brothers, my Dad, and myself got a chance to go down to Busch Gardens just before Labor Day weekend. Pretty fun; it's always nice to be able to get all of us together for a day or two. Although I still haven't forgiven Nate for getting me on the Log Flume. 4 fully grown men in 1 log makes for a VERY big splash.


Also, I decided to upload most of my old pictures I had collected from college, so take a look at the Fotki site to see them as well.

Next up on the to-do list: I get to revisit Old Rag in 2 weeks with the FBC young adult group. After Montana, how hard could it be?

The BIG mountains

I completed uploading all my vacation photos to Fotki a few days ago. Ever since getting back home at 6AM Monday, I sill haven't completely caught back up on sleep, but this weekend should fix that.


Wow... I'm 26 now. It's kind of funny - I always thought that by this point, I would be a serious, mature adult, set in life and ready to take on the world. But here I am, still shy and single in my little apartment, having to wait yet another year to take my Surveyor-in-training exam (my year of field crew experience didn't count, so I have to make it up as I am in the office.) Still playing video games too - that's gotta be a sure sign of terminal geekiness at 26 years old. I guess that there's no hope for me... :)
I'm only halfway serious. It IS beginning to bug me. Guess all I can do is keep faith and press on...

Anyhow, enjoy all the pictures. I'd love to backpack through the Rockies again someday. Montana is awesome.

And now for something completely different:

Hey, I found a computer here in our hotel in Billings! Tomorrow, I fly back home after spending the past week hiking through the East Rosebud Trail in the Abaroska-Beartooth Wilderness in Montana. I'll upload all the photos after I jet home and clean them up; in the meantime, enjoy!

Sharp Top

I suppose I should update sometime soon. I just got back from a week-long survey seminar in Roanoke. It was interesting, but those 8-hour sessions were brutal. 2 days of survey geometry very nearly drove all of us there crazy. Anyhow, I left on Thursday and camped by the Peaks of Otter, along the Blue Ridge Parkway. It rained all evening - I managed to get my tent up during a break in the rain, then hunkered down inside during the thunderstorm. (Note to self: I had better dry my stuff off before next week.) The rain stopped around midnight, and I went to hike Sharp Top first thing in the morning. Still cloudy and hazy, but beautiful nonetheless. The rest of my pictures are, as always, on my Fotki site.
One week until Montana!

Dolly Sods

I had a lot of fun this weekend out with the Montana-bound group on our second trial hike in the Dolly Sods Wilderness in West Virginia. The Sods is a high-elevation plateau just on the western side of the eastern continental divide, with a general elevation of about 4000 feet (which is WAY up there for those of us in the east.) The big draw is the climate and scenery - the weather is generally 10° cooler on top the plateau, and the open, rolling hillsides make for some great views that you don't normally find in the tree-heavy Appalachians. 4 weeks until the Beartooth Mountains!